CAREER PURSUIT

As my husband serves too, over the years we spent a lot of time apart, including from our children. Despite this we have always strived to give our best to the military, our careers and our family life, as military families do. It is not an easy balance to strike. In the early years of my career, I actively hoped for recognition in the form of promotion, and I worked my socks off for it; but as the years went by it proved elusive, and that was hard to accept. One day I actually stood in the kitchen of our service family house, in tears, and asked my husband, “Am I just useless?” I believed I needed external validation to have any belief in myself. That is until the day I had an epiphany − “I validate me!” It was literally like a lightbulb switching on. I finally realised that validation starts with self first; if you don’t validate yourself then how on earth can you expect anyone else to? A truly powerful realisation, for me, was the beginning of a personal development journey that has been very liberating. When you take the time to appreciate the skills and abilities that you possess and the potential that exists within, you can start to open your eyes and your heart to the possibilities in your life. When was the last time you patted yourself on the back for setting up a new home every time there’s a posting? Do you ever congratulate yourself on looking after the kids, getting them to school, taking them to after school clubs and sports, making sure they have all the kit they need on the right days, packing their lunches and sorting out gifts for the birthday parties they attend? What about the dog and guinea pig that the kids begged for that ended up being your responsibility, on top of everything else? Vet appointments? Medical appointments? C A R E E R P U R S U I T If you’re working, do you acknowledge how difficult it is to balance work and family, and yet you’re still achieving both? Do you give yourself credit for having to change jobs every few years and completely start again? Are you proud of yourself for taking that course or learning something new to try and improve yourself? Do you appreciate how wonderful it is that you support other spouses when they’re feeling down? It’s tough being a military spouse, and it takes a special type of person to continually have to start again, to regularly face uncertainty over detachments, postings and the fact that the service person is expected to continue with their duties, often leaving you to pick up the pieces at home. If I achieve anything for military spouses reading this, I’d want it to be for you to acknowledge the enormous variety of skills, attributes and strengths you possess and to not think small when it comes to your future. Once you have solid self-belief, I believe it acts as a really strong foundation for happiness in life. Nothing is completely unshakeable, but when you believe in yourself and recognise the talents you possess, it is harder for external agencies to take that away from you. Military spouses are shown to have great resilience and adaptability which is now being widely harnessed both by spouses themselves and by a number of companies seeking talent. Never forget who you are and what you bring to the table! 20 2 0 2 0