children caused extreme stress, our study also illustrated the impact that forcible displacement followed by living in limbo had on their self-esteemand identity. Refugees in Jordan's Zaatari Refugee Camp and the UK suffered mentally as they lived in a seemingly never-ending indeterminate state of displacement, knowing there would be an end to their plight when the war ends and they could return safely, but not knowing when that date would be, and whether it would be in their lifetime. Being known as ‘stateless’ or a ‘burdensome refugee’ in their host community was demoralising. Many of the women turned to creating traditional Syrian craftwork as a coping mechanism, as it helped themprocess their memories and reclaim their existence and identity as Syrian women. Doing so over time allowed them to symbolically restore the familiar past identity they so strongly yearned for, whilst also constructing a present sense of belonging in their host communities for themselves and their children. FROM RESEARCHER TO “OUR GIRL” Conducting research in such a context was challenging on many levels, personal and professional. As a “hybrid” and bilingual British-Syrian woman, my status as an insider gave me a particular advantage. I did not need to contend with language barriers or familiarise myself with local codes. I was warmly invited into refugees’ homes. I used Syrian expressions and idioms, which provided the women with a familiar and safe space to share their stories and opened a window to worlds and intensions an outsider could not fully appreciate. I was humbled that the women wanted their struggles to be heard by a fellow Syrian woman and referred to me as bintna – “our girl”, or bint albalad– “daughter of the country”, which carries local connotations of “down to earth” and a “good solid character”. To them, my unique position was that I was not only capable of understanding them (as an insider) but able to leave Jordan and tell the world (as an outsider) their story of losing everything, fighting for survival, and reclaiming their existence as the people of Syria. However, my personal experiences as a hybrid British-Syrian and female researcher studying “her people” revealed that such affinity gave rise to two insider challenges. Firstly, while the womenwere comfortablewithmy insider identity, their husbands were occasionally uncomfortable. They expressed guilt, shame, and emasculation as they heard their wives talk about their inability to provide for their families tome – a Syrianwoman. I explained that this is an outdated view of the family and approximately half of theworking population globallywere women. My insider role emphasised I understood “our” patriarchal cultural pressures onmen, but I equally understood the boundaries that limited husbands fromcontinuing their provider role. We discussed these points and agreed theirmasculinity had not been diminished but shifted to the key supporter role of their wives and families. A second obstacle appeared when I asked participants to sign consent forms. They struggled to reconcile my roles as “our girl” – we trust her with our story – and “Western academic” – doing her job. Others were concerned that their identities would end up in the Syrian government’s hands, who would harm their families in Syria, or alternatively in the Jordanian authorities’ hands, who could have them deported. Having discussions with other female academics about the barriers we face while conducting research “back home” in “developing countries” or “nonwestern contexts” made me appreciate I was not alone in this experience. Our experiences led us to create a toolkit of recommended practices to help others approach these situations. For myself, my experiences of working with Syrian refugees in Jordan and the UK have shown the importance of being gender-aware in our research and the importance of contextualising it within wider social, political, and economic global perspectives. FIFTY FOUR DEGREES | 29 Dr Sophie Alkhaled is a Senior Lecturer in Entrepreneurship in the Department of Entrepreneurship and Strategy. Among the work resulting from the research featured above are the following: The resilience of a Syrianwoman and her family through refugee entrepreneurship in Jordan, by Dr Sophie Alkhaled, in Refugee entrepreneurship: A case-based topography. Syrianwomen refugees: Coping with indeterminate liminality during forcible displacement, by Dr Sophie Alkhaled and Dr Innan Sasaki, in Organization Studies. Something borrowed, something new: Challenges in using qualitativemethods to study under-researched international business phenomena, By Prof Rebecca Reuber, Dr Sophie Alkhaled, Prof Helena Barnard, Dr Carole Couper, and Dr Innan Sasaki. s.alkhaled@lancaster.ac.uk
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